Rating: R (language, violence)
Length: under 30K total; this chapter, 587 words
Spoilers: through the end of Season Four
Summary: What if Sam and Dean knew one crucial piece of information about the future before Dean's deal came due? Would it have changed everything, or would the end result have been the same? AU version of Season Four, written for spn_30snapshots .
Master table is here. Prompt for this chapter: full moon.
14. Frayed at the Ends He Breaks
His stern features lit by the the moonlight shining overhead, Castiel said, "Dean, I know this is hard for you to understand right now—"
"You say one word about 'mysterious ways', and I swear to God, I will kick your ass," Dean growled, jabbing a finger into the angel's chest.
Castiel continued in a patient voice, "I am sure Anna explained to you that obedience is our purpose, our essence, the one thing we must do above all else. And she disobeyed."
"And you killed her." Dean glared at the dark-haired man with all he had. "You took an innocent girl and blew her away right here in front of us!" He pointed at the barn, where Sam was standing watch over Anna's body, now vacant after Uriel's almost gleeful removal of her soul.
"I am sorry, Dean." Castiel's head tilted forward, his too-knowing eyes bright in the unearthly light of the full moon. "I know that you became quite close to her in the short time you knew each other."
Dean reached out and shoved Castiel hard with both hands. "You have no fucking idea," he snarled. "There has been one good thing that's happened to me since I remembered the Pit, one thing that made me feel like maybe it was okay to be alive and walking around. Maybe it was okay to be me. And you just tore her to shreds. Oh, and that was after promising to kill my brother if I didn't play Judas for you. So don't you tell me that I don't understand, pal, because you're the one who needs a clubbing with a clue-by-four."
Castiel cocked his head to the side. "Dean, this is part of a larger plan, and while it may be difficult—"
"I'll tell you what's difficult." He stepped closer, nose to nose with the angel, cold anger burning within him. "What's difficult is being told bits and pieces but no real reasons for going along with this so-called plan of yours. What's difficult is having Sam's life threatened over and over again when he hasn't fucking done anything wrong."
"Your brother has the potential to be a very dangerous—"
"I don't care!" Dean roared, his voice shattering the quiet of the night. He heaved in a breath and spoke in a low, careful voice. "I don't care about your damn seals anymore, and I don't care about your demon war, and I don't care about what you think Sam is going to turn into. Just leave us alone."
Castiel stared. "Dean, you were raised from Hell for a purpose, and that purpose has not yet been made manifest."
"Too bad." Dean straightened up. "We're going to go take care of our dead. When we're done, I expect you to be gone."
He stalked past the angel and into the abandoned barn, feeling the cold wind blowing down his jacket collar. Fury was burning within him: fury at being so easily manipulated, at Uriel's casual knowledge of what it would take to break him—again—and at the knowledge that even if what he really wanted was to be the one to die, for all that he deserved it after everything he'd done for twenty-five unimaginable years, it wasn't one of the options he'd been given. No, it was Sam or Anna, the brother he'd still do anything for and the fallen angel who'd made him feel human for the first time in months.
And Dean would never forgive the angels for that.